This partner can become defensive or shut down when feel criticized, ‘not good enough’, accused when his other contributions are not acknowledged.” Their partner, on the other hand, doesn't see the significance or urgency of doing the laundry when people in the household still have clean clothing, the trash is not entirely full, having the house spotless when guests arrive, etc. Consequently, they will do the tasks themselves and resentment will build. They express that they can't rely on their partner to complete the requested household tasks or to do so in a timely manner. “Typically, women are the ones to voice frustration regarding the allocation of household chores. Sharone Weltfreid, a licensed clinical psychologist. “In my work with couples, one of the most common arguments is about the division of household chores,” says Dr. Therapists see this all the time - and it’s a loaded issueīickering over housework may look trivial in the grand scheme of things, but for many couples, it’s serious enough to make it to the therapist’s couch. Is there any way out other than outsourcing chores? Is there a way to resolve these matters and actually learn about one another in the process? Relationship therapists say there absolutely is, but it’s going to take, you guessed it, work. We’ve been stuck in this cycle of sparring over cleaning since we moved in together over five years ago. We end up having a version of the same spat a week or two later. We usually cool down quickly, and always sincerely apologize for lashing out, but we never seem to actually resolve the underlying issue. He retaliated by listing all the times (does he keep track?) he’s cleaned the toilet. Ah! My contribution had not only gone unrecognized, it had been perceived as not good enough? I initiated a dispute about how I think he thinks I don’t clean well, and also about how he doesn’t clean the toilet, ever. I didn’t say anything, until I noticed him re-cleaning the stove. However minor and monotonous these tasks may be, how we deal with them (or not) can lead to quarrels.įor instance, last week, I was upset that my husband didn’t acknowledge that I cleaned the entire stove. We both work from home, and it’s not unusual for one of us to use part of our makeshift lunch break to sweep the living room or scrub the shower. This issue of bickering over house chores hits close to home for me, as my husband and I often butt heads over who cleans what and how well. It’s now the third largest category for us and gaining in popularity.” Anything you can clean, I can clean better “People can spend up to 690 hours a year cleaning, and we’ve seen an increase in people searching for home cleaning services. “Some of these results were surprising, but they make sense,” says Tara Lewis, trends expert at Yelp.
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